Out of the Wreckage Read online

  “He’s like a yo-yo. I don’t know what he’s doing.”

  “And do you want a yo-yo like him?” Claudia rose up to peer over the counter and studied him again. “He seems pretty confused to me.”

  Miranda rubbed a knot of tension out of her brow. “I don’t know what I want.” I want my Jason back. His words from last night rang in her head, his face disgusted as he said, That man is dead and he’s never coming back.

  “Hmmmm. Sounds like you need to get that figured out, Missy. Why don’t you just finish writing the code for that insurance, then get out of here. Mr. Fancy Pants looks like he has something to say to you.”

  “Thanks Claudia.” Her gaze flickered back to Jason. Is this going to be a repeat of last night? Frowning, she turned her attention back to her computer screen, her fingers typing furiously. Ugh, huge typo. She deleted her last numbers and redid them. You gotta concentrate here. A few minutes later, she hit save and reached for her purse under the desk.

  “I’ll be back in an hour,” she said to Claudia, and stood up. “Come on.” She gestured to Jason.

  Out in the parking lot she paused again. “Jason, I’m serious. This is my job. You can’t act like that here.”

  He looped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. “I had to see you. I couldn’t take no for an answer.”

  Miranda’s heart beat quicker at the feel of his arm around her. “Hun, one minute you want me, one minute you don’t.”

  “I want you. And, I want you to want me.” He grabbed her hand and placed it over his chest. His green eyes stared at her intently.

  She groaned. “Then why do I feel like there’s a huge wall between us?”

  “There’s no wall. You’re just going to have to get used to the new me.”

  “Jason, this is me you’re talking to. I know when you’re shutting me out.”

  “Quit worrying about all that. Do-over, remember? Now, let me do it.”

  “Do what?”

  “Spoil you. Let me take care of you.”

  “Why do you keep saying that? Jason, you’re freaking me out. It’s like you’re trying to prove something.” She pulled her hand away and began button her sweater, shivering in the cold air.

  He opened his mouth as if to say something then closed it again. Finally he blurted, “I don’t get you, Miranda.”

  “Get what?”

  “Nothing. Never mind.” He opened the car door. “Come on, hop in.”

  “Oh great. Where are we going?”

  “A surprise.”

  She sighed. “Really? That didn’t go over so well last night.”

  Jason smiled and slid behind the steering wheel. “Trust me, you’ll like this one.”

  What am I getting myself into? She got into the car and braced for his take off. He squealed out of the parking lot, leaving black tire marks. Miranda groaned.

  “Now what’s the matter?” he asked. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath of air.

  They drove ten blocks, crossing through the heart of the city. He pulled onto a street known as Auto Row. The corner of his lip raised in a smirk as they pulled onto a luxury car lot.

  “I’m scared to ask. Why are we here?” Miranda asked.

  “I thought I’d get you a new car.” Jason side eyed her.

  “What? Are you crazy?”

  Jason laughed. “Come on, baby. Let me do this for you. I want to spoil you.” He looked over and Miranda saw a spark of the old Jason hidden inside his bashful smile.

  She leaned back against the seat with a fake whimper. “What am I going to do with you? What are you thinking? I don’t need a new car.”

  He jumped out and ran to her side. Opening the passenger door, he held out his hand. “Just come on, already. This will be fun.”

  “I have to get back to work in an hour!” Miranda ignored his hand and tried to keep her skirt from riding up as she climbed out.

  Immediately a well-dressed salesman strolled over to them. A gust of wind blew his tie up over his shoulder. He tucked it back into place and offered his hand to Jason to shake. “Hi there. How can I help you two today?”

  “I’m here to get my girl a car.” Jason wrapped his arm around Miranda’s shoulders.

  His girl. We haven’t even had a real conversation yet. Reaching up, she squeezed his hand extra hard and smiled at the salesman. “Well, actually, he’s the one looking.”

  The salesman quickly dismissed her, focusing on Jason. “Beautiful, blustery day here in the Pacific North West. You watch the Seahawks play?”

  “Skittles, baby!” The two of them laughed. Clapping Jason on the back, the salesman steered him toward the showroom. Miranda smiled harder and trotted at their heels to keep up. Just keep grinning. Just keep grinning. She stifled a snort at the play on the Finding Nemo song. I’m losing it. For real this time.

  “So what model are you considering?”

  “I was thinking of the Mercedes S Class.”

  “Oh yeah, they’re a beaut.”

  He took them down to the front of the storeroom where a white Mercedes sat.

  “Nice, huh?” he asked Jason. “This car is pretty amazing.”

  Jason’s eyes sparkled with excitement and he rubbed his hands together. “Wow, she sure is.” Then, turning to Miranda: “What do you think? Gorgeous or what?”

  “Wow, you noticed I’m still here.” She smiled. “Yes, the car’s extremely nice.”

  The salesman continued, “Well, as with all luxury models, she has a V8, smooth tranny shift, and a deluxe package.”

  Miranda nodded, having no idea what he was saying. She glanced at her cell phone. “Jason, can we come back another time? My lunch break is almost up.”

  “In just a minute, Miranda.” Jason hopped into the driver’s seat, a big grin splitting his face as he looked over the dash, playing with all the dials.

  The salesman handed him the keys. “Want to take it for a spin?”

  Jason slid the keys in and turned the ignition. The engine hummed to life. He stepped on the gas, laughing at the sheer power. “Wow! What a beautiful car.”

  “Zero to sixty in six point three seconds.” The salesman leaned against the roof and peered in at the interior. “I’ll guarantee this car is faster than any cop car out there.”

  “Wow, Miranda, can you imagine?” Jason exclaimed, his face flushed.

  Miranda smiled and tried to be excited.

  “Hop in, babe!” Jason gestured. “You’re going to be a prize sitting in a car like this.”

  Frustration started to build inside like a rubber band being wound tighter and tighter. “Jason, I love that you want to do this for me. I mean, it’s amazing. But I really can’t do this right now. I have to go back to work.”

  “In a minute, I said. Now get in here and sit down.” His forehead wrinkled as he glanced up at her. “I mean, check out the leather!”

  Miranda looked at him instead. “Why are you doing this? I hate to say it, but it’s like you’re trying to buy my affection for abandoning me the last three months.”

  “You’ve got to get over that.” His eyes were bright as he stroked the driver’s seat, and she felt a pang of sadness. Gone were his ratty shirts and torn jeans. She’d give anything to see them again. To have things back the way they were.

  “It’s great, Jason, it really is. But I’m not ready to take a gift like this from you yet. Besides, I like my Jeep.”

  His eyes turned scornful at the mention of her car. “Please, that crappy thing? Let’s get rid of it. It’s time for something new. I’m trying to make you a lady of class, Miranda.”

  She gasped at the cruelty of his words and spun around, unable to hold the tears back.

  “I’ll just be over here, if you need me.” The salesman took a few steps away to give them privacy.

  Jason climbed out of the car and whispered. “What’s the matter with you? You’re making a scene.”

  Taking a deep breath, she responded in a low voice. “I’m alread
y a lady of class, no matter what I drive.”

  Jason loosened his silk tie and groaned. “Are you serious? You’re being too sensitive.”

  She laid her hand on his arm. “Why are you saying this? You never used to care before. Can’t you see that?”

  He stared at her like she was crazy. “Come on, get in the car! Let's take it for a test drive.”

  Miranda caught her reflection in the car’s window. Her hair curled in it’s unruly way in the humidity, her face lined with sorrow. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. “Jason, we need to talk.”

  He rolled his eyes. “What?”

  “I don’t get why you’re being so insistent about this. We haven’t talked in three months, and I don’t understand why you are pretending nothing has happened, especially after last night. I desperately need to connect with you, really connect and hear what you’ve gone through. This car feels like another way to shut me out. It’s not real. What we used to have was real. Why aren’t you trying to get back to that?”

  “Why are you making this into such a big deal? I just want to treat you now that I can finally afford to do nice things.” He cupped her elbow. “Sweetie, listen to me.”

  Her eyebrows flickered at the use of the word “sweetie.” He’d never called her that before.

  “Why aren’t you talking to me like normal?” She turned towards him, her voice beseeching.

  His eyes narrowed even as he ran his hands down her arms. Stepping closer, he pushed her back against the driver’s door. “Why aren’t you listening to me? I want to make you happier than you ever dreamed.”

  “I don’t think you realize how happy I was,” she whispered.

  “Happy?” He snorted. “How could you be happy? Every day you’re at someone’s beck and call. You don’t have to work at that measly job any more.”

  She felt anger simmer inside. “Measly job? Jason, you better be careful.”

  “I mean it’s menial work. Anybody could do it.”

  Miranda stiffened. Her forehead slowly rose. “Let’s go outside.” Marching ahead of him, she blasted through the showroom doors and out into the parking lot, before spinning around with her finger pointed. “Excuse me?”

  “No, I don’t mean it that way. What I mean is….” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

  “My job might not be rocket science. It might not deserve your respect, but I do take pride in it. I actually do help people.” Her voice was shaking and she struggled to control it. “Working with insurance companies is not easy, and I take stress off of people who are already worried about visiting the dentist.”

  He stared at her, his face grim.

  “And furthermore,” Miranda continued, “don’t you remember the pride you used to have? Pulling an engine apart and putting it all back together and having it work better than it did?” Her face was red with anger. “I remember more than once you gleefully telling me you had it purring like a kitten.”

  “Yeah, well maybe anyone could do that too. I didn’t do anything special.”

  “What? You think this money makes you special?” Miranda’s forehead creased.

  Jason rolled his eyes. “Geez, Miranda. People change.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “You went from the most incredible person I ever knew, to someone I don’t even recognize. I’m all about change. But I thought the goal was to change for the better.”

  Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stared out at the rows of parked cars then snapped his attention back to her, his gaze sharp, angry. “You don’t get it. This was my dream ever since I saw you with those kids at your high school. To be someone other than the drug baby of two loser parents. To count in this world and be a real success.” He shook his head. “No way am I ever going back to the way I was. I’ve been stuck here, in this podunk town, doing the same thing day in and day out, struggling to survive.”

  “Well, that’s pretty funny since your struggle to survive sure looked an awful lot like happiness,” Miranda retorted. “You remember those late nights down at the beach? We,” her finger jabbed between the two of them, “were sickening, sappily happy. We probably disgusted other people with our happiness.” She brought her mouth closer, not stopping until her lips were a hair from his. “And you had all of my love and respect.” The last word was a hot breath whispered against his mouth. She drew away before the kiss was completed.

  He reached out and grabbed her, forcing his mouth against hers. His smooth face was unsettling, his scent different. His hands became more insistent, pulling her to him. She pushed away.

  “What?” He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t fake it. You were the most authentic person I ever knew.” She looked at him with despair. “You aren’t you any more.”

  “Again, Miranda?”

  “No, you’re—” she waved her hands to indicate his clothing. “You’re different.”

  “What, my clothing? Now you’re just making excuses.”

  Her blue eyes caught his and she shook her head. “You need some time to figure things out.”

  “Run, run as fast as you can,” he taunted.

  Fury flamed up inside of her. She could barely see as she hurried off the car lot, hair whipping in the wind.

  Jason watched her walk away. Finally, he yelled, “Miranda, do you want a ride?”

  She shouted to him as she walked backwards. “You just enjoy being the new improved you. I’ve got to get to work. Call me when you’re ready to really talk.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Winter

  Jason parked the Porsche in the garage of his house and climbed out. He was renting while a real estate agent worked to find him his own place. She’d insisted someone of his means should be living the good life in the right neighborhood.

  A quick tap of the button and the garage door whirred on its tracks as it closed. He glanced around. Everything was sterile. Bare white walls, an empty workbench, tiled floor.

  During the showing, the realtor had brought him in the garage with a dramatic sweep of her arm and gushed about the benefits of the heated floors, ergonomically-positioned shelves and earthquake-proof green construction walls with designed flexibility, blah blah blah. He’d been impressed at the time.

  Suddenly, out of nowhere, the memory of the smell of the old barn hit him, and he took a deep breath as if he were standing in the middle of it: clean hay and sunbaked wood. He recalled the way the sun fell on the floor, half-blinding him as he lay on his back under the beater truck. And how whenever he’d stick his head out to grab a wrench, old Archer would be there to greet him with a wet nose. Jason grinned. That freaking dog. I really miss him.

  That wasn’t all he missed.

  It had been weeks since the disaster at the car dealership. There’d been a few texts, terse and fake. He’d thrown his phone over the last one she’d sent, feeling cut off from her in a way he’d never felt before. And she said he was the problem.

  Sighing, he opened the side door into the house, and ran over to key in the alarm code. He glanced around the house, sterile like the garage. How the hell did I let myself get talked into this? The house had come furnished. A white sectional sofa sprawled across the living room floor. The couch was an oddity to him. Never in a million years would he have sat on something so pristine before, as a mechanic—and he could now.

  The thought was detestable to him.

  Tall ceilings magnified the echoes of his footsteps on the tile floor as he moved down the hall. He caught the scent of lemon and took a deep breath in, trying to discern the cause. He slumped as he realized it was the cleaning product the housekeeper used on the floors.

  Jason didn’t know who the housekeeper was. He’d never seen her. The agency paid her. She appeared when he was gone, leaving the house as sterile and clean as he left it.

  A hollowness echoed inside of him. He hadn’t felt this lonely since after his grandma died.

  Lying o
n the entry table was a small chunk of wood. Jason had found it the day before in the yard, somehow missed by the landscaper. He reached for it now and rolled it in his hands. Absentmindedly he patted his pocket for his knife, before remembering he hadn’t been carrying it anymore. His pants didn’t have those types of pockets. He sighed and dropped the wood back on the table with a clatter.

  Jason wandered into the kitchen, newly remodeled, the ceiling ornamented with an empty brass pot rack. The drawers and cupboards were empty too, with the exception of a shelf in the pantry jammed with plastic utensils and paper plates.

  There were two ovens and a walk-in refrigerator. He set the keys on the granite counter and glanced at the stainless steel appliance. Miranda would be lost here. He smiled to himself. He imagined teaching her how to cook on the convection stove, wrapping his arms around her to help stir a pot. His mouth curved as he pictured smelling her neck, kissing the soft skin there. What kind of home could he have without her?

  A shard of pain drove through him. I cant do this. I’m out of here. He grabbed the keys again and headed back out to his car.

  Revving the engine, he spun out of the driveway, grinning at the car’s speed. Ten minutes later and he was on the highway. Quickly he worked through the gears. The car was a smooth and hot ride, there was no doubt.

  Jason exited back towards the city, mulling over the incident at the car dealership. His frown deepened as he thought of the expression she’d given him, a mixture of betrayal and disgust. “What’s wrong with you?” she’d said, flinging those words like rocks at his heart.

  What is wrong with me? He drove passed the Centennial building and glanced at the statues of lions guarding the steps. His life had changed that day.

  He’d changed.

  For nearly his entire life he’d felt like he’d been caught in quick sand, constantly fighting to get his feet on solid ground. Trying to make up for drug-addicted parents. For the last few months he’d thought he’d done that. He thought he finally had it together.

  He gave up the girl because he didn’t have money. Now he had money and still didn’t have the girl. Slowly, the car rolled to a stop at a red light. “I’ll never understand women,” he mumbled, shaking his head.